Butt Pains

I finally finished! The first draft. Of my literature review. For my thesis. But I still have the methods section, running the study, analyzing data, and writing the conclusion left. When I spell it out like that, it doesn't seem like that great of an accomplishment. But it is, so I'm happy.

Yesterday, when I sat down in my chair, I felt a sharp pain in my butt. I thought I might have strained it during my sleep. Maybe I kicked the blankets too hard or sleep-fought some ninjas. The pain kept bothering me, but only when I sat down. Finally, I sat down and I felt it again. I looked around at my posterior, and I found the cause of the sharp pains. It was a butt pimple.

Every time I watched "Life" on the Discovery Channel, they always showed the same thing: eating, procreating, and surviving. Survival of the fittest was always an important theme in all of the episodes. Only the fastest cheetahs get to eat, only the upper class monkeys get to chill in the sauna, only the bird with the fanciest house attracts the girl. Every episode I wondered, "If I lived in the wild, would I be able to survive? Would I be one of the fittest and live?" I consider myself to be athletic and kinda smart. Am I strong enough and cunning enough to live in the wild? I always wanted to be in some kinda experiment like that, live in a primitive world and see how I fare.

Now I'm watching "America: The Story of Us" on the History Channel. I'm a history buff and I've always loved learning about history. (No offense to Virginians, but part of the reasons I hate Virginia is historical. One of the reasons is because Virginians are notoriously bad at driving. Even in Florida, people with Virginia tags suck at driving. The main reason I hate Virginia, the state not the people, is because they redacted their offer to help be a part of Washington, DC. DC is supposed to be a diamond shape, but since Virginia didn't do their part DC looks like a half-chewed piece of paper.) While watching the show, I wondered, "When did American colonists lose their British accents?" One second they have British accents, then BAM it's an American accent.

David Yoon told me I'm awkward to talk on AIM or over the computer. I ask a lot of questions, and then silence. Sometimes I make things intentionally awkward, but I don't think I'm naturally awkward. This kinda blew my mind. People perceive me as awkward. I do ask questions, but I don't know what to say. Messaging is naturally an awkward form of conversation because of all the waiting and responding. I don't know how conversations are supposed to progress. Am I only supposed to talk to people when I have something to say to them? Don't people talk to people just to catch up or is that where the awkwardness comes in?

Another thing that blew my mind was from Urbana last year. I found out that I wipe my butt the "wrong" way. According to the people that went to Urbana, the "right" way is the wipe from front to back (towards your back). But I wipe from back to front (towards my stomach). But not in between my legs, so that pee gets on my arm. More like a sideways motion around my right cheek. (Edit: I tried to wipe the other way once, but it felt so unnatural and I almost toppled over because I had no balance.) How do you wipe? Maybe my "wrong" wiping motion is what created my butt pimple.